Gag gongs at Edinburgh festival
A surreal hedgehog joke was named best gag at the Edinburgh Fringe on Monday, while a Michael Jackson gag was judged the least funny at the annual arts festival.
"Hedgehogs -- why can't they just share the hedge?" won the funniest joke award for London stand-up Dan Antopolski, who has been in the Scottish capital for the three-week festival, which has launched many a comedy career.
The comedian also grabbed the number nine spot, with: "I've been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I've seen it six times and there isn't."
At the other end of the spectrum, the worst joke award went to comic Carey Marx, for: "I'm not doing any Michael Jackson jokes, because they always involve puns about his songs. And that's bad."
The Edinburgh Fringe festival, which began on August 7 and runs until next weekend, claims to be the biggest arts festival in the world, including theatre, comedy, music and dance.
The top five best gags, chosen from the over 2,000 shows at the Edinburgh festival, were:
1) Dan Antopolski: "Hedgehogs -- why can't they just share the hedge?"
2) Paddy Lennox: "I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'."
3) Sarah Millican: "I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they're up where they belong."
4) Zoe Lyons: "I went on a girl's night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill.' I went as Rose West" (wife and accomplice of notorious killer Fred West).
5) Jack Whitehall: "I'm sure wherever my dad is, he's looking down on us. He's not dead. Just very condescending."
... and the worst:
1) Carey Marx: "I'm not doing any Michael Jackson jokes, because they always involve puns about his songs. And that's bad".
2) Stephen Carlin: "There are so many 'failed train' announcements at stations these days. It's not rolling stock, it's laughing stock."
3) Celia Pacquola: "My mind is like a cement mixer. It's grey, thick and always moving."
4) Rhys Darby: "I don't believe in guns. Literally; I don't believe they exist."
5) Frank Woodley: "I phoned the swine flu hotline and all I got was crackling."